Could It Be Tamil Nadu?

I know I said that the decision can remain open, but I couldn't help but think about "where?" today. Sterns has officially left, as of yesterday. We had a rushed chat over the phone. She amongst the chaos of boarding the plane. Me amongst the din of commuter trains outside work as I escaped a needlessly verbose design meeting, stepping into the peninsula heat wave. I wish I could join her.

India might be the perfect location. My tireless love for that land was once an unrationable lust. Visiting it, even for those three short months, transformed my sentiments. And two years later, the lust has matured into some type of faith, just as unrationable, but with a dash of confidence.

Tonight, I made a deliberate round of exploration amongst my new suburban surroundings. One, nestling my nose into the bindings of Lonely Planet's new edition of India. Two, solo'ing at the local Indian dinner buffet. Joked with the owner about his driving test in Bombay, where he was told that he had failed because he didnt use his horn (which he remarkably translated, accurately, as an invitation for bribery where he successfully bartered the gold-plated pen in his shirt pocket) It made me laugh heartily.

It's hard to say if all of tonight was inspiration or appeasement; hard to say if my resolve to leave is stronger or weaker. I could go back. I could drop my job right now. But it would be better to hold out a while longer. I think I can make it. And despite the magic, it may not be the right place. Sterns or no Sterns. I reckon the embers will mantain their warmth a good while longer.

And as a statement of my uncertainty, buenos noches.